Vintage Jesus

Vintage Jesus (2008)

Here is an extract from Mark Driscoll’s book on Jesus Christ, Second Person of the Glorious Godhead, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who is seated at the right hand of God the Father in the Majestic Glory.

Quote from pages 43-44

‘In the first chapter of Mark, Jesus starts off by yelling at complete strangers to repent of their sin, like the wingnuts with billboards who occasionally show up at shopping centers.  Shortly thereafter, Jesus orders some guys to quit their jobs and follow him, and before long Jesus is telling a demon to shut up and healing a leper only to tell him to shut up too. In the second chapter, Jesus picks a fight with some well-mannered religious types and does the equivalent of breaking into a church on a Sunday morning to make a sandwich with the communion bread because he was hungry.

‘In the third chapter, Jesus gets angry and also grieves and apparently needs Praxil.  Then he ignores his own mom, which threw Focus on the Hebrew Family into a tizzy, so they quickly issued a position paper renouncing his actions. In the fourth chapter, Jesus rebukes the wind, which caused an uproar with the local pantheists. In chapter 5, Jesus kills two thousand pigs, sending the animal rights activist blogosphere into a panic and creating a bacon famine only rivaled by the great Irish potato famine. In chapter 6, Jesus offends some people and apparently needs sensitivity training. In chapter 7, a few religious types have some questions for Jesus, and he cruelly calls them ‘hypocrites’ and goes on a lengthy tirade about them, which seemed very intolerant of their alternative theological lifestyle.’

Mark Driscoll preached a series of sermons on Vintage Jesus in 2006. In the sermon on ‘How human was Jesus?’ (15 October 2006), he took delight in his pottie joke. See the clip

Driscoll’s flippant approach to Scripture shines forth. He twists Scripture to make it say what’s in his mind. Did Jesus Christ ever yell at anyone? Did Jesus ever behave like a wingnut with a billboard? Did Jesus ever pick a fight? Did Jesus ever break into a church? Did Jesus ever ignore his own mother? Did Jesus ever behave in a way that needed treatment with the antidepressant Praxil? Was Jesus so offensive that he needed sensitivity training? Was Jesus ever cruel to anyone? Did Jesus ever launch into a lengthy tirade? Driscoll’s description of Jesus suggests that he was an intolerant, aggressive, depressive who needed psychiatric treatment. Driscoll has impugned the character of Jesus. He has created the impression that Jesus was sinful. The picture he paints of Christ is irreverent, and borders on the blasphemous. He would do well to remember that we will give an account of every idle word spoken. God is not mocked.

Scripture says that Jesus, ‘though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ in Lord, to the glory of God the Father’ (Philippians 2.6-11 ESV). See Driscoll mocks Noah and Driscoll slanders Gideon.

The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked what is perverse (Proverbs 10.32)

The mouth of fools poureth out foolishness (Proverbs 15.2)

You can learn more about Mark Driscoll’s ministry in the book, The New Calvinists (2014), published by The Wakeman Trust and Belmont House Publishing. The book is available from belmonthousebooks.com/

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